Yesterday

I took a bath in Epson Salts. Yikes my body hurts soo bad. On Sunday when it was nice out I decided to prep those little side gardens in anticipation of the weather finally turning for good. I bought a small shovel and went to town on the hard dirt. Digging for about 20 minutes until I realized these hands were not made for manual labor and I need to hire someone to get the “bad” dirt up and out. I continued on spraying the side of my house with weed killer and home defense for those bugs that are going to try to get in even though they weren’t invited.

I woke up Monday morning and felt like I’d gone ten rounds with Kaos and lost. We all know I didn’t drop the doggie treat (soap) and got hold on that situation so it could have only been the damn 20 minutes of “gardening”. I shuffled around getting ready and put on my stilettos because really despite the pain in my legs I was wearing a knee length skirt and wouldn’t dare get caught out there with some ugly flats. Fast forward to Tuesday evening after a session at the gym where I could only walk and do the elliptical machine I decided a bath in Epson salts was needed.

As the tub filled up and I sprinkled in the salt I realized I’m getting old and am way out of shape. I get in and hear the water draining from the “emergency drain” and immediately realize I should have upgraded to a soaking tub, I’m only 5’ 3” and can barely fit into the tub I have. I sit in for about 15 minutes when I realize something’s not right the water continues to drain out of the emergency tub and Olivier (my cat) is telling me something (I swear he was trying to tell me bitch get out, a tub full of water is NO good). I get out dry off and go downstairs and sure enough something was wrong, the ceiling under the bathroom was leaking water! The last time I took a bath in my house it was April of 2004 (I remember because I was really sick and thought a bath would help bring down my temperature) and the water could have been leaking then too because my ceiling was leaking last summer because of the cracked toilet seal.

So it’s 11:30 PM on a Tuesday night and I’m running around mopping the living room and collecting water with bowls and pots. The moral of the story? This is what 30 looks like, home ownership sucks sometimes and now I’m going to eventually have someone rip a big hole in my ceiling to figure out WTF is wrong and until then no more Epson salt baths for me. Putain, merde!