PSA March 8

That time of year is almost upon us. Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, spring is almost here. In our nation’s capital this means tourists galore. The cherry blossoms will be in bloom soon and Middle and H.S students will be on Spring Break trips eager to learn about their nation’s capital.

Hey you, yes you from that corn fed square state. Lol! Just Kidding I’m actually talking to everyone who doesn’t know their way around Washington, D.C. Please I beg you do not drive here. Would you drive in Calcutta or even London? No. Well don’t even think about doing it here. Would you drive in Bombay or NYC nope didn’t think so. Head this warning people don’t drive here and engage the wrath of people like me who are very impatient with tourists driving cars with Idaho plates who clearly don’t know where they’re going. Although the speed limit might say 25 mph that’s suggested sort of like “suggested retail price” so go with the speed of traffic. If you have warrants and are afraid of getting stopped by the police you should probably not come to D.C. You can get stopped by “insert name of any federal agency” police officer.

I traveled in and out of Skopje for about two years before working up the nerve to rent a car and drive around town and the rest of the country and the entire country is smaller then Maryland.

Here’s my suggestion, park your car and take public transportation. It’s easy there’s a red, blue, orange, green and yellow line it’s not complicated at all. Hell there’s even a new bus system for tourists. It costs a little bit more then the regular bus so you won’t have to sit around all those weird people as you’re riding around town.

So take my advice don’t drive here and that includes you people who tell your friends and families that you live in D.C but actually live in Herndon, Reston, and Oxon Hill and go to D.C. once a month. Take the metro fools!