I'm Hungry!

First of all thank you for your well wishes and support. I’m going with Rainmayun’s theory that the good folks in Norfffeast D.C have run off with the supply of percocept. I was fine taking one a day then on Sunday I freaked out in the middle of the night, thought the cats were trying to break in, broke into a paranoid sweat and have since given up on that form of pain relief. I’d hate to be a statistic and show up on the news as yet another person addicted to pain relievers so instead I’m going the ibuprofen route.

I’m starving!!!!!!!! Eating Jell-O and soup everyday for the last 5 days has driven me bananas! I’m weak and need food! I haven’t had any meat in 5 days, no alcohol, no Girl Scout cookies, just Jell-O and soup and the occasional mashed banana. I had a dream about Twinkies and I don’t even eat that stuff anymore. I’m craving a coke but I know the acid will just ruin all the “good healing” going on in my mouth. I don’t even like Coke like that but I’m just craving one now. I want FOOD! I’m heading out for Ethiopian tonight and I can’t wait. Even if I have to gum it, I’m having real food tonight.

Ouch!

I went under on Thursday morning and had three wisdom teeth removed. Two happened to be compacted so the doc gave it to me straight and said I’d be uncomfortable for a while.

I was nervous; scared even I’d never gone under before. After the doctor fumbled with my veins for a bit I stared feeling sleepy and the next thing I remember is opening my eyes and feeling the surgical assistants putting something in my mouth. I was scared that they weren’t finished but luckily for me they were just putting gauze in my mouth. I felt a little groggy but fine. A friend of mine came to pick me up and drove me home.

On our way there we stopped by the CVS near my house and low and behold they didn’t have any percocept to fill my prescription. Da hell!?!?! So we go to another CVS across the river (Souffff east) they don’t have it either. My blood has soaked through the gauze by now and I’m getting pissed so I have them call another CVS on the Hill and sure enough they have it. I’m not a conspiracy theorist (ha! How many times have I said that on this blog) but damm WTF hoodrats can’t get their percocept on?!?

Anyway I get home, am still numb from the Novocain and the anesthesia but I eat a bit of soup and down a few ibuprofen and the percocept. For the next two days I’m chilling in a fog of medication until last night I decided to wean myself off the drugs and go to sleep. I woke up this morning feeling like Kanye’s through the wire. Got damm I hurt now.

Morale of the story: There is medicinal discrimination going on in the hood, don’t get cocky and try to wean yourself off the meds too soon and having your wisdom teeth removed will hurt A LOT once the meds wear off.

I Saw You

Me in the silver civic coupe with the UNC sticker, you in that big ass gas guzzling Ford SUV with the goberment plates. Rt. 123 to McLean right near the entrance/exit to the CIA. I glanced over and saw you looking at me in all your “men in black” hotness. I’m sure you were off to save our country from destruction. You eventually pulled in behind me and in case you jotted down my license plate number (cause I know you can find out everything about me including this blog) give me a call. You made a left into downtown McLean and I continued on toward Tyson’s Corner.

When: Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Where: Rt. 123 towards McLean
I saw a: Man
I am a: Woman
Date posted: Wednesday, March 22, 2006

The Drums

Remember when Dave Chappelle did that skit on what moves the different races with John Mayer? I remember laughing at the stereotypes portrayed until I realized I too live to hear drums. I don’t know how to explain it, except to say that they move me. They move me to dance, to move my body in ways I never dreamed of, they move me to (clearing throat) dance on elevated surfaces, to let go of my inhibitions and just dance.

Dance I did, when this song came on I forgot I was on the top floor of a U St restaurant and just danced. I forgot I wasn’t in the middle of Carnival in Haiti and just danced. The drums moved me. I didn’t listen to the words being sung and just listened to the beat of the drums as they guided my body. The drums were talking to me, letting me know it’s ok to express myself, to be myself and to let go and enjoy the moment.

Feed Me!

Glory’s comment from Wednesday’s post reminded me of a video I took of my cat Olivier over the Christmas Holiday. He’s not a big fan of dry food (which I always leave out an abundance of) so twice a day he meows’s until I dish out the wet stuff. One day I just felt like messing with him a bit and video tapped his reaction. Every time I look at it I crack up laughing. Click Here http://s65.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0QANAC0BBB54Q0HL3YEMID4VOD for a view. You can’t see it on the video but I’m waving the food bowl in front of me a bit. Clearly I need a hobby. (Smile).

Yesterday

I took a bath in Epson Salts. Yikes my body hurts soo bad. On Sunday when it was nice out I decided to prep those little side gardens in anticipation of the weather finally turning for good. I bought a small shovel and went to town on the hard dirt. Digging for about 20 minutes until I realized these hands were not made for manual labor and I need to hire someone to get the “bad” dirt up and out. I continued on spraying the side of my house with weed killer and home defense for those bugs that are going to try to get in even though they weren’t invited.

I woke up Monday morning and felt like I’d gone ten rounds with Kaos and lost. We all know I didn’t drop the doggie treat (soap) and got hold on that situation so it could have only been the damn 20 minutes of “gardening”. I shuffled around getting ready and put on my stilettos because really despite the pain in my legs I was wearing a knee length skirt and wouldn’t dare get caught out there with some ugly flats. Fast forward to Tuesday evening after a session at the gym where I could only walk and do the elliptical machine I decided a bath in Epson salts was needed.

As the tub filled up and I sprinkled in the salt I realized I’m getting old and am way out of shape. I get in and hear the water draining from the “emergency drain” and immediately realize I should have upgraded to a soaking tub, I’m only 5’ 3” and can barely fit into the tub I have. I sit in for about 15 minutes when I realize something’s not right the water continues to drain out of the emergency tub and Olivier (my cat) is telling me something (I swear he was trying to tell me bitch get out, a tub full of water is NO good). I get out dry off and go downstairs and sure enough something was wrong, the ceiling under the bathroom was leaking water! The last time I took a bath in my house it was April of 2004 (I remember because I was really sick and thought a bath would help bring down my temperature) and the water could have been leaking then too because my ceiling was leaking last summer because of the cracked toilet seal.

So it’s 11:30 PM on a Tuesday night and I’m running around mopping the living room and collecting water with bowls and pots. The moral of the story? This is what 30 looks like, home ownership sucks sometimes and now I’m going to eventually have someone rip a big hole in my ceiling to figure out WTF is wrong and until then no more Epson salt baths for me. Putain, merde!

Soap Box

I believe I've mentioned that I used to volunteer at the local animal shelter at least once or twice a month. I started volunteering again and was there on Saturday when this lil' 110 pound bundle of joy came in. He "ran" away from home and his owner decided to not pick him up so he's up for adoption. Besides answering questions for potential adopters, I play with the dogs and walk them when we're not busy. Well since Kaos (pictured left) was really friendly and welcoming of my petting from outside his kennel I decided to go in there and play with him a bit. All was good for the first 5 minutes until I guess the "urge" got to him (he's not neutered yet) and he decided to well you know. Imagine trying to control a 110 pound rottweiller who is almost as tall as you are while on his hind legs when he's decided you look kinda good for a human. Luckily for me he knows basic commands and after yelling SIT twice he sat down but still had the "hey there hottie" gleam in his eye. At first I thought he was exhibiting some alpha dog behavior but when someone else went in there with him, he was fine.

Remember those prison movies where the prisoners start racking their metal mugs across the cell bars when they're upset or if someone is being released? Well that's exactly how the shelter is when there's a dog walking down the kennel hallway, except replace the sound of mugs across the cell bars with repeated barking from about 20 dogs. Crabs in a barrell I tell ya. I really love volunteering at the shelter because despite the noise and (sometimes smell) it's really fulfilling and you don't have to worry about the animals telling you shut up, or NO or you're not my mama. However it can be a little discouraging when you see some of reasons they're sent to the shelter.

I'm going to stand on an elevated surface and preach to you guys for a minute:

• Please for the love of god DO NOT give someone a dog or Cat as a present even if they beg you for one. Unless you're willing to take care of that pet once the novelty wears off or when fido/fluffy hasn't mastered the art of whatever skill you're trying to teach him or if he still decides that peeing on your rug is more fun then going outside.
• Owning an animal is at least a 15 to 20 year commitment and isn't a commitment one should jump into lightly. Just like you can't return a child after you've adopted it you shouldn't think about returning the dog or cat once you've adopted it.
• Owning an animal, dog or cat is a huge responsibility, think food, vet bills and/or pet sitters.
• Men, neutering your dog isn't neutering yourself, get your dogs neutered or spayed. It's healthier for the pet and unless you're a licensed breeder you shouldn't breed your dogs anyway. There are so many animals put to sleep every day in this country because of over population. I can't even remember how many men come to the shelter see a pure breed Rott or Bull dog and seem so disappointed when I tell them all the animals that leave the shelter are neutered or spayed first.

Talk about stereotypes but why do some of the Hispanic and black patrons immediately head toward the Pit bulls and try to pet or agitate them despite the signs that say DO NOT PET, DOG BITES or DO NOT GO NEAR KENNEL with a damm block in front of the kennel. Most of the pits that come to the shelter are really sweet and nice dogs but some are actually mean and quite dangerous. Mofo's can't read I guess. It pains me because it's people that make animals vicious and dangerous.

I'm done with my rant.

Twisted Spring Memories

As I walked out of my office building yesterday evening the sun was setting and the air smelled like the first signs of spring. The sun’s heat setting was on low but the promise of more heat and sunnier days was in the air. I rolled down my window (4 more years and I’m upgrading to power windows and locks!) and let the air circulate in as I thought back to a sunny late spring Sunday last year.

Sitting on the top deck of our favorite Latin restaurant, sipping on Sangria having a late lunch. The conversation flowed as it normally does and we chatted about a wide range of topics. I felt such ease being out there with him, comfortable, being teased and teasing back. Grabbing his wallet just to tease him and be a little nosy, feeling a bit weirded out and even a little hopeful when I found a picture of myself there. A lazy Sunday afternoon drive followed, down to the mall we went fighting for a parking space with those square state corn fed tourists. We had no interest in going to any of those museums along the mall but just wanted to sit, chat and enjoy each other’s company.

Alas fast forward a few months and the ease and comfortable feeling seized to exist as he took my heart stomped on it and spit it out for good measure. I’d like to think I got over that experience but I’m not 100% sure I’d spit on him if he was on fire.

I’m done going down this path of memory lane and am looking forward to enjoying another 70 degree day in our nation’s capital.

PSA March 8

That time of year is almost upon us. Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, spring is almost here. In our nation’s capital this means tourists galore. The cherry blossoms will be in bloom soon and Middle and H.S students will be on Spring Break trips eager to learn about their nation’s capital.

Hey you, yes you from that corn fed square state. Lol! Just Kidding I’m actually talking to everyone who doesn’t know their way around Washington, D.C. Please I beg you do not drive here. Would you drive in Calcutta or even London? No. Well don’t even think about doing it here. Would you drive in Bombay or NYC nope didn’t think so. Head this warning people don’t drive here and engage the wrath of people like me who are very impatient with tourists driving cars with Idaho plates who clearly don’t know where they’re going. Although the speed limit might say 25 mph that’s suggested sort of like “suggested retail price” so go with the speed of traffic. If you have warrants and are afraid of getting stopped by the police you should probably not come to D.C. You can get stopped by “insert name of any federal agency” police officer.

I traveled in and out of Skopje for about two years before working up the nerve to rent a car and drive around town and the rest of the country and the entire country is smaller then Maryland.

Here’s my suggestion, park your car and take public transportation. It’s easy there’s a red, blue, orange, green and yellow line it’s not complicated at all. Hell there’s even a new bus system for tourists. It costs a little bit more then the regular bus so you won’t have to sit around all those weird people as you’re riding around town.

So take my advice don’t drive here and that includes you people who tell your friends and families that you live in D.C but actually live in Herndon, Reston, and Oxon Hill and go to D.C. once a month. Take the metro fools!

Shutdown

Last week my iTunes software was acting up. Every time I played a song it sounded all fuzzy and after ruling out my speakers, headphones and my pc I called up the iTunes folks on the phone but they weren’t able to help me. I then sent an email to their tech support asking for help (so far no reply..Bastards). Well on Friday morning when I was getting ready for work I shutdown my laptop (I usually put it on standby go to work and plug it into my docking station so it doesn’t take forever to boot up). Low and behold when I tried my iTunes when I got to work it was working fine.

Sometimes I get the urge to just shutdown and wait…wait for my problems or issues to fix themselves in some weird unknown computer matrix. I remembered my little iTunes dilemma and solution yesterday afternoon as I thought about my friend A’s news. Her boyfriend of just exactly a year broke up with her Saturday night and she was devastated but all she could think about was having to restart from scratch. Those who read the old blog may remember her from “the Do Opposites Attract” post (since I deleted that blog I can’t link the post). Some of the reasons he sited for the breakup had to do with whether or not he could see himself living with her as husband and wife and that he didn’t like what he’s become in the relationship (in an effort to meet her demands he’s been slack on doing some of the things he wants to do). He also questioned if their families would get along (she’s from a liberal democrat family and he’s a staunch republican) and he wasn’t sure he loved her enough for marriage. He also cited their inability to effectively communicate their problems.

As I ran my errands I thought about my friend’s situation and wondered if she needed to forgo the restarting function and just shutdown for a while. In her conversation with me she mentioned having to restart her search for a life mate and I wondered if shutting down and figuring out what was going wrong with her relationships and figuring herself out would probably be best. She acknowledges the challenges she brings to the table in a relationship, she’s demanding, clingy and needs a lot of attention yet she doesn’t attract the type of man who is willing to be all those things for her and still fit her own top 10 list of musts. She wants someone who is attractive, who can afford her (she’s high maintenance), yet doesn’t want someone who travels excessively for work or pleasure, and who is willing to spend all his free time with her. She also expects them to spend at least 5 nights out of the week together. She does admit that she’s a challenge but doesn’t think she can change.

We’ll talk this evening and I know she’ll want me to listen and she’ll also want my advice and I’m going to have to tell her to shutdown and give herself time to figure out what she’s willing to comprise on from the start otherwise she’ll find herself in a similar situation a year and a half from now.

Going Down Memory Lane

I was looking through some loose photos on my bookshelf and found a few pictures from my childhood that I thought I'd share.

How it all started. Here is a picture of my parents on their wedding day.

It didn't last and I wonder if my mom's sister had a premonition because she didn't attend my mom's wedding in protest over her choice. I asked my mom if she was upset but she shrugged it off, saying she was disappointed but that's just life. I asked her 37 years after her wedding day and I wonder if time really does heal all wounds. I believe it was Organized Noise that asked "Does their opinion count". I can't imagine what my mom was going through at the time and I can't imagine my family not liking my choice of a life mate.




Six years later, I made my grand appearance and the picture here was taken about 2 months after my birth. My mom, grandmother, aunt, uncle and cousin. I was the cutest baby :-).

Hmm, I have no idea what I was doing doing in this picture but I was clearly happy to see whoever was behind the camera. Aren't I just a fashionista in that shot. I think I was about one in that picture.

Here is a picture of me (and my David Hass.elhoff pose) on my 2nd birthday. This was my first trip to Haiti and my first trip to visit my grandmother. I guess 1976 was a different time because my mom sent me on a plane to Haiti with a family friend I'd never met to spend about two months with my grandmother whom I hadn't seen since I was born. According to my mom I didn't cry and just immediately went to my grandmother when she picked me up from the airport. I guess I knew my grandmere :-).

I took my second trip to Haiti when I was 5 and here is a picture of me and my uncle's dog on the stairwell leading to my grandmother's basement. I was always a little scared of this dog who wasn't soo friendly and he ended up being the first dog to bite me. When I was about 10 I learned the hard way that he was really my uncle's protector. I was playing around with my uncle and hit him on his shoulder and his dog automatically growled and bit me in warning. He didn't break the skin but my uncle was pretty pissed off since I'd known the dog for over 5 years.

Here is a picture of me and my mom after a school Christmas recital circa 1983. Take a look at that TV, I loved that thing. The only problem was that it was so small and was easily carted off to the closet the moment my mom felt I wasn't doing my school work or if my grades slipped.




*ah yeah these pictures look a little weird because I took a picture of the original with my digital camera. I don't own a scanner and couldn't be bothered trying to find someone with one.

Commuting Thoughts

I have a long ass commute every morning to work from D.C to the dismal abyss that is called Tyson’s Corner (40 minutes each way). Pain in my freaking ass although I shouldn’t complain too much it’s not as bad as some other folks. This leaves a lot of time for my mind to wonder and think about stuff. Despite the bitch of a commute I actually like this time to myself to think and ponder life’s little mysteries. I could as well have time to think while on a 10 to 15 minute bus ride to downtown DC, actually MCI center where we have offices but I digress.

Although I knew this yesterday I was reminded once again that NO one will have your back like you will have your own back. NO ONE especially work folks. At first I was pissed but then again I only have myself to blame. I should know better and really I need to be more aggressive in going after things I want. I’m scheduling drinks with the powers that be. Clearly spending all my freaking time in Armenia hasn’t helped me play the game at home. I heard through “unofficial sources” that was some of the feedback given at my last assessment that I wasn’t aggressive enough regarding certain work issues. Fuckers they have no clue.

I really, really love Zouk music and am sick and tired of being here for Carnival I need to get my money tight for a trip to Martinique next year. Clearly listening to them celebrate over the internet isn’t fulfilling enough. I wish things weren’t so fucked up in Haiti and I could enjoy Carnival there among my people. Alas things are going to hell in a hand basket.

I’m such a freaking snob sometimes it pains me. I’m a pretty nice and easy going person but once in a while I get these shallow thoughts and wonder about myself. I’m afraid I’m often guilty of some narrow minded thoughts about those landlocked corn feed square state folks. Thinking they’re all dumb and know nothing outside of their corn field state is narrow minded. I’m just tired of the right wing fundamentalists. I often sneer at people who can’t dress well…granted I’m no fashion editor but I make an effort to look nice and presentable but dang some dudes out there have NO fashion sense whatsoever and that pains me. The dudes I hang with are pretty snazzy dressers except for the occasional sweater vest mishap (smile) they’re pretty GQ and I guess I can’t expect all men to be like that. I wonder if folks who lack fashion sense know they lack fashion sense or if they even care. A fancy car doesn’t do it for me but a well dressed and smelling man well yummm holla.

Sometimes friends get on your last nerves, really they do. I have a friend who can be so annoying and the other day she just did something that sooo turned me off because one minute she’s sweating a friend of mine and the next she’s talking about her like a dog. Why? I know she’s the way she is but sometimes it’s too much and uncalled for.

I haven’t been to a good Dancehall party in a minute…I’m still signaling the plane for god’s sake. I also just realized I can’t remember the last time I went to a club here. I’ve been hitting the lounge and bar type places on a regular but a straight club it’s been a minute. I don’t terribly miss it but it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to do one night.