The Ring

I’m in a boxing ring, both a referee and a coach, caught between a rock and a hard place. The warring factions: the recipient client, funding client, and the boss. Being yelled at as I enforce the rules. The fans wanting to have their say. None of them understand each other and I don’t think they’re willing too actually. As I talk and cajole, ask them to view each others side, to make some headway I feel the weights getting heavier on my shoulders.

Today for a few minutes I longed for a 9 to 5 job one where I turned on my computer at 9:01 AM and turned it off at 4:59 PM without worrying about the work until the next day at 9:01 AM. That isn’t really what I want but these last few weeks have really tested my patience. It’s hard but so is life. This is what I want to do, it’s challenging but I wonder how much challenge can my shoulders bear. I’ve wanted to do this for as long as I can remember so I’m living my dream right? Maybe it isn’t the subject of the battle that’s weighing me down. Tax Administration, uh uhhhh! Maybe I shouldn’t be thinking only of better countries but of better subjects.

Oh So Livid!

It’s Friday, my day started out well, I was looking forward to attending a dinner party at a colleague’s apartment then off to hang out at my favorite bar here in Yerevan. All of a sudden I became livid about something I saw online.

Mwen te telment fache. Pou ki sa ou vle tande? Parceque geyen ou neg qui mwen te amoureux avec qui pa te remain mwen meme facon. Mwen decouvrit que neg la mette un profile sur l’internet la ak ou photo qui te pren la cay mwen. Merde. Get maman li.

After about 10 minutes of being pissed at what I saw I became pissed at myself for being pissed and for being so damn dumb. Have you ever been pissed at your own actions and/or feelings after you had a chance to really think things through. Uhhhh!

So as I sit fuming at myself then I get a “backhand to the face” kind of email from our client. It wasn’t so much the “NO” I received in the email but the “I wish you would spend as much time doing x,y,z as you do a,b,c”. Eyeroll. I could feel my blood boiling as I read the email and decided to close the window and respond on Monday. I’m not going to deal with it this weekend, either issue. I’m going to enjoy the weekend hit a few of my favorite restaurants in Yerevan and enjoy life.

Have a great and fabulous weekend!

The Case of the Stalker

Friday August 18th

Stalker: Hey Ladies
Us: Hey
Stalker: Ladies where are you from? Amerika?
Us: Yes
Stalker: Where you from in Amerika? Kansas, Nebraska?
Me: (Giving him a are you fucking kidding me eye. sorry square state people). We’re from D.C
Stalker: ah I want to go to Amerika, I want to go to Miami, I like Miami.
Me: (Eyeing his flower shirt, white pants and pointy white shoes) Well you’re certainly dressed for Miami.
Stalker: Where are you guys going?
Me: We’re meeting friends for drinks.
Stalker: Can I join you?
Me: uh no I don’t think so.
Stalker: Can I get your number?
Me: (frowning there’s something off about this dude) Uh no that’s not a good idea. Ok bye.
Stalker: ok bye.

My colleague and I walk into my favorite bar in Yerevan and meet up with some locals I’ve gotten to know on some of my trips here. After sitting down I look up and The Stalker has entered the bar. Luckily for us they don’t let random dudes in the place unless someone working or a regular patron can vouch for them and dude was eventually asked to leave. Fast forward about an hour and a half and my colleague and I are ready to head back to the hotel but who do we spot standing next to a tree across the street, pants glowing? The mufucking Stalker.

My first thought was ah I wish a mufucker would! I will get Brooklyn and cause an international incident. Common sense prevailed and my female colleague and I quickly hopped into a cab back to the hotel.

Saturday August 19th

My colleague and I are walking back to the hotel after hanging out at my favorite bar and spots a florist. (Corner Florist are open 24/7 here) She wants to buy a rose but the guy buying his girlfriend flowers insists on buying us one. We say thank you and we’re on our way. Half way back I notice a guy suddenly start walking slightly behind us. Me I don’t trust when someone suddenly starts walking near me in the wee hours of the morning. My colleague notices also and we cross the street. Dude continues walking in pace with us and for me that’s unusual. First people here walk very slowly, like they never have any place to be kind of slow and we were booking cause it was the wee hours of the morning. So finally I point out a bar that I went to once last year that had great music but was considered a gay bar. After noticing that the dude stopped when we stopped we ducked into the bar for a quick second. When we came back out 5 minutes later he was gone but we ran into the flower purchaser, his girlfriend and her brother who insisted that we go out for beers with them. It was 2:30 AM but after a while we both accepted and had a great conversation with them about life, Armenia, and the US over Red Bavaria brew which btw is quite delicious.

I've Got Nothing

I had a couple of blog topics floating around in my head during my flight from DC to London to Yerevan but I can’t seem to develop anything but a sentence or two with each. My flight was un eventful which is probably a good thing. The security check lines both at Dulles and the transfer terminals at Heathrow weren’t long and my luggage arrived at the same time that I did. I was able to take my books, laptop and some electronic stuff with me on board so thank god I didn’t have to pull my hair out due to boredom. All in all pretty un eventful.

The weirdest feeling was not having my lip balm or hand lotion with me. I never realized how much I relied on those things until I didn’t have them for 17 hours.

I’m here for three weeks so I’m sure I’ll have something blog worthy soon, hopefully. I’m exhausted and am looking forward to this weekend so I can sleep.

I've Got the Blues..

And I’m not sure why. I’m usually in an upbeat mood but today for some reason I’m just feeling pissy. Maybe it’s because today is my first day back in the office after being on vacation for a week. Maybe it’s because I’m leaving tomorrow for a 3 ½ week work trip. International travel isn’t the hotness right now and I hope I can at least take a book to read with me on the plane. I’ll go stir crazy with nothing to occupy my time for 17 hours.

I can’t remember the last time I was in an “uhhhh” mood and didn’t know what caused it. One of our admins came into my office to discuss something and when she droned on I could feel myself tensing and I literally had to keep myself still because all I wanted to do was turn back to my computer and ignore her.

Whenever I need a pick me up at work and head for the vending machine for a bag of cheetos. There is nothing like that crunchy cheesy goodness to help me feel so much better BUT as part of my eat well, live well, loose weight goal I’m ignoring my need and drinking a bottle of water instead and eating a mini bag of popcorn with no butter (Just 100 calories MNM).

Hopefully tomorrow is a better day.

Mom’s Say the Darnest Things

Mama Honest is the bestest and although she can be worrisome on certain issues she really is the best mom a girl could want. My parent’s were born and raised in Haiti and both left in the early 60’s and eventually immigrated to the US in 1970 after they’d met and gotten married in Europe. Despite 36 years in the US their accents are still pretty thick. They also have a habit of mispronouncing words or incorrectly using certain phrases in conversations.

When my dad was visiting me a few weekends ago a friend of mine came by whose parents are also foreigners and is used to accents. After she left she commented that although she laughed she had no idea what he was saying. My dad says that we “people” hear with an accent and he speaks perfect English.

Yesterday my mom and I stopped at Circuit cit.y to buy a flash drive for her laptop and I reverted back into my childhood and asked her to buy me a DVD. When she said no, this led to a funny exchange with the cashier and ended with my mom saying and I quote “She’s a working girl; she can by her own DVD”. I saw the puzzled look the cashier gave my mom and when we left I had to tell my mom she just told the cashier I was a prostitute. As you can imagine she was a bit embarrassed but I’m used to these scenarios with my parents.

A long time ago my mom was telling me a story and kept repeating “It’s a meat, a meat”. When I was a teenager and my mom or dad was telling a story and they weren’t clear or didn’t pronounce something and I didn’t understand I’d just ignore them and keep moving. A few years later my mom repeated the “it’s a meat” story and when I finally stopped and asked her what in the world she was talking about she said “meat, you know not necessarily true, fairy tale”. It finally dawned on me that she was trying to say “Myth”. I was like “Ma its Myth” and she’s like yeah that’s what I said “meat”.

Unfortunately the French language lacks “th”

Anxious

I’m taking the week off (kind of) in honor of my Honest Mama visiting from NYC. I started my semi vacation on Friday afternoon and it’s already Wednesday evening. Where did the time go? Yesterday my mom and I met some of my old colleagues for lunch outside of the agency I used to work for in downtown D.C.

As I sat on a bench and waited for our appointment time I ran into an old colleague that used to work for my current company but now work's for our major client, my old agency. Who says you can’t go from the private sector to government. Suddenly a certain weird feeling over came me as I watched more and more people go in and out of the office building with those familiar badges. I felt anxious, nervous even to be back where I started my career and the building I spent so much time in for the first three years of my DC life. Where I learned my lesson that you shouldn’t get your meat where you get your bread, and learned that sometimes in life you need to make a change.

Lunch was great and hanging out with my mom has also been great and I’m going to be sad to see her leave on Sunday. It’s funny but when my mom is visiting I forget I’m 32 years old and revert back to being a kid. Who am I to argue if she doesn’t think the kitchen floor was scrubbed hard enough and wants to do it herself, not I. Who am I to argue if she wants to vacuum and scrub even though I cleaned like a demon before she arrived? I am truly a spoiled kid.

Secrets and Such

I have some and no, I won’t tell you people otherwise they won’t be secrets. I’ve learned over the years that the only way to keep a secret is to not tell anyone, not a soul. Sounds pretty simple doesn’t it? Unfortunately some people don’t realize that you can’t tell people your secret and not expect it to get out. The following scenario has me shaking my head and trying to find the right moment to let the secret teller know that the supposed secret and its details she confirmed telling to only a handful of people have crossed continents and found its way across the Washington DC metropolitan area.

Secrets that involve sex, scandal and work colleagues are hot and too juicy to just let slide for most people. They’re like trying to grill asparagus with sesame oil, you’ll get a lot of smoke and if you’re not careful fire. That’s why I always say: “Don’t get your meat where you get your bread”. Do you really want your love life talked about at the water cooler, dinner parties and across the pond?

Cruel

The world is a cruel, cruel place. I’m not talking about the war going on in Lebanon against innocent civilians, not talking about the probable (actual) civil war going on in Iraq. I’m talking about my fucking (yes I’m livid) air conditioning unit going out yesterday. Light flickered, then no more air. At first I thought ok maybe it’s going through that kick on, kick off cycle since I have it on auto. It never came back on; I lowered the temperature to make sure. Turned the thermostat on and off, went outside to turn the unit (thingy) on and off, and turned the switch off at the electrical panel and zip, nada. Lights are working, innanet is still on, cable and Tivo are working so I figured it’s my air conditioning unit giving up.

At 7 AM I call the heating and cooling people a friend recommended and they give me an 8AM to 12PM window. Lawd Jesus! It’s hot here, as my girl Mu would say “It’s as hot as two squirrels fighting in my cleavage”.

Hallelujah the cooling people come at 8:30 thinker around bill me $110 including a gas surcharge fee (da hell) and tell me there’s nothing they can do because the problem is with Pepco (DC’s electricity company). Apparently I have partial power going into the house so things like my air conditioning unit and my dryer aren’t working. I call Pepco get a computer asking me to give all the info, say yes or no and god forbid if you ask a question the computer will hang up on you. So I call back and finally yell enough for “operator” that I get a live person who tells me there’s a problem in my neighborhood that isn’t scheduled to be looked at until after 1PM. I guess I’ll go into the office now to cool off.

The world really is a cruel, cruel place.