Can't Imagine

On Thursday night my girl Vicki called me up and after listening to me bitch and moan for a minute or two about my blue tooth thingy not working, told me her mother passed away that afternoon. My heart just fell and I could feel the tears starting to flow. It was expected but you can you really prepare yourself? Her mom had breast cancer a few years ago and was in remission until about two months ago when they discovered that the cancer had returned and spread so quickly that there was little the doctors could do but send her home and make her as comfortable as possible.

The minute I got off the phone with my girl, I called my mom to tell her and also say “I love you Ma!”. I can’t imagine what it’s like to loose a parent. I know eventually that everyone passes but sometimes I selfishly think I’d prefer to go before my mom. What would I do without her, who would I have 100% and unconditionally in my corner if I didn’t have her. My mom is my rock and although she’s 250 miles away I know I can reach out and give her a call or get in my car and 4 hours later I’d be at her doorstep.

It’s been just my mom and I, the dynamic duo for so long, us against the world surviving together since my parent’s divorce over 24 years ago. Sure we have little squabbles, and that probably isn’t the right word but after 32 years I’m sure I’ve driven her crazy (my teenage years) as she’s driven me a bit crazy as mom’s do occasionally, but life without her? I can’t even imagine.