My Pesky Little Battle

Growing up I was what most people would call thin. Not skinny thin or anorexic thin but just thin. From puberty to my sophomore year in college I stood at 5’ 3” and weighed in at less then 110 pounds. The summer after my sophomore year this all changed and the word “thick” was suddenly associated with my name. While I was thrilled at all the extra attention I was getting from dudes, my mom and her wallet weren’t thrilled. I was suddenly requesting additional funds for new clothes and she suddenly realized that my frame no longer fit within the “insert my mother’s maiden name” family size.

As my metabolism changed and the sudden weight gain that came along with it, the comments from my mom about how I was becoming more and more like the “insert my last name here” ‘s. That I had a “derriere” like Aunt so and so and that I need to be careful otherwise I’d get fat like Aunt xyz. None of these women are fat but were a lot bigger in height and size then my mom or her family. I scoffed at the warnings and would tell both my mom and her sister that I was fine and could loose the weight any time I wanted to. I wasn’t worried after all I’d always been “thin” and I just figured it was that freshman 15 that finally arrived late, it was all those biscuits I ate and all that sweet tea I drank because after all I was going to school in the Soufffff, home of the great pulled pork BBQ and Fried Chicken. In my case that freshman 15 was actually a sophomore 20 and as much as I though I’d loose it I never did.

After college I moved back home and started eating a lot healthier then I did at school, I eventually moved to D.C. and my eating habits remained the same although I hooked up with this crazy crew and my drinking habits increased. My weight battle with what I call the “pesky 10” started. I finally decided to do something about it and started my gym campaign. Since I worked as an onsite contractor for a government agency I was able to use their gym facilities everyday during lunch or after work. Hell I never had A LOT of work to do so taking an hour and a half at lunch time and hitting the gym was never a problem. 3 ½ years ago I moved over to doing the same type of work for a consulting firm, my commute doubled, my work load tripled and I stopped working out and since I had to drive to work was constantly in my car and gained 20 pounds. I’ve lost 10 of those 20 and am still battling to loose the last 10. I’m unhappy with my weight and know that I need to get it down before I get any older and it starts getting harder and harder.

My biggest issue is motivation. I’m lazy when it comes to the gym, I'd prefer not to work so hard there. My time is precious as it is and between work and my social life I barely have time for ME, let alone a gym routine which I’ve realized will be a ‘lifetime thing’ and not ‘just a loose those last pesky 10 pounds’ thing. I know this because I’ve been battling these last 10 pounds for the last 3 ½ years. Unfortunately my family thinks they’re trying to motivate me but instead it sounds like badgering and those methods I ignore. Last year I got home from visiting my mom and called her to say that I’d made the drive from NYC to D.C. safely hung up and began unpacking. My phone rings and it’s my mom.

Mom: You said you’re going to the gym.
Me: yeah I am at work
Mom: Well maybe you should get a trainer because whatever you’re doing it’s not working.
Me: Ok bye mom I’ll talk to you later.

This after I’d been going to the gym for four straight months. Those of you who read my old blog and this new one know that I can get really motivated and focused but the minute something else interferes with my gym focus I immediately fall of the wagon. I review it over and over in my mind and know that it’s a continuous battle because my heart isn’t into it, I haven’t gone over to the double digit wardrobe yet, I’m still on the cusp. Unfortunately knowing what lies ahead and that danger of going over that bridge hasn’t enabled me to get my heart into it and I’m not sure what will.

Status Update

Remember our cleaning lady from November ’05 and February ’06? Well she’s gone and we have a new social security card holding one. The staff here helped the old one find another job and she’s also doing odd jobs here and there, cleaning apartments. *Sigh* I wish I could afford a lady back home in D.C.

Some of you reading this know about the issues with the guy who was in charge of our project here. He just wasn’t working out and well today was his last day on the job. We haven’t found a replacement yet but we’re looking.

I didn’t realize how much I actually missed being here and working here with our local staff who are great. I might change my tune closer to my departure date but so far this is day 2 in the office and aside from some misunderstanding around a local contract issue it’s all groovy.

Spring is here in Yerevan and the outdoor cafes have opened up. One thing I absolutely love about Europe are their outdoor cafes. I have visions of sipping cappuccinos while people watching. Dinners sitting out on patios and nights out with some cool colleagues.

Have a fabulous weekend!

Tripping

This is my last work trip until mid September, this is my last work trip until mid September, this is my last work trip until mid September. I’m in London waiting for my connecting flight to my country away from home, Armenia and I’m hoping this is my last work trip until after Labor Day. I’m hoping if I say it enough; write it down often it’ll be true. Unless they “ask” me to fly off to Senegal or anywhere not in Eastern Europe then I’ll reconsider. Lol!

Last weekend I briefly decided to change careers and become an actress. My one and only role, Denzel W’s love interest in a movie. Did you see that kiss he planted on his girlfriend in the “Inside Man”? Wow! Talk about passionate. A little TMI, but that is what I’m missing in my life passion; and I’m not going to find it flying to Yerevan for weeks at a time every two months. So I’ve decided unless Denzel wants to fly me out to LA for some love scenes I’m taking a “work” travel break for a while at least until mid September.

New York State of Mind

Happy Easter Everyone!

I went up to NYC Thursday night to spend the Easter Weekend with my mom and family. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to even contact my NYC bloggers let alone friends from H.S. Next time peeps.

You know that rule that no one is allowed to talk about your mom except you? As a New Yawker I’m going to talk about my peeps. For all things sacred on the road I cannot understand how rude folks from New York when they’re behind the wheel. No such thing as signaling and that thing called yielding?!?! Never heard of it up there in NYC. I’ve been driving in and around NYC regularly for the last 5 years and have known since I was a wee bit lad that NY’ers have issues regarding common courtesy on the road but got damm people, da hell?!?! As I got out of the Holland Tunnel and turned onto Canal Street on Thursday night my entire persona changed, I turned back into that crazed NYC driver to fit along with all the other crazies on the road. Clearly, I have issues.

Most New Yorkers think that the world starts in NYC then there’s the rest of the world (this is actually true) and the reason I believe they believe this to be the case, is because most New Yorkers never leave NYC or the tri state area. When I was a kid most of the working class families I knew went on vacation back to whatever island, country their parents came from to visit relatives and that was it. Hell the Pocono’s was a journey for most. On the way back from my aunt’s restaurant in New Jersey, as we drove back to my cousin’s house, my mom was surprised to see a city bus rolling down the street. “Oh they have buses out here”, that statement sparked the who has the best transit system in the world and every city I threw out there my mom countered with “are they open 24 hours a day”. I guess after 36 years of living in NYC she’s become a true New Yorker.

The morale of the story? There is none. I know there’s life outside of NYC because I’ve been there I’ve lived in different cities, visited different countries but all pale in comparison to my city, New York City.

My Achilles Heel

Sometimes I’m my worst enemy and struggle to keep from continually sabotaging myself. My Achilles heel? Procrastination. I struggle daily to just get it done, whatever it is that’s pending. I don’t understand why I can’t just tackle whatever it is and just get it done. Later, I tell myself, later and sometimes waiting until its too late costs me something.

Despite all the pitfalls, I continue to procrastinate. I’ve managed to curtail my habit at work but in my personal life it runs rampant. Is it procrastination or am I hiding a problem with laziness? I almost missed the deadline to challenge my property tax assessment and when I realized the deadline was extended I still procrastinated. I have until Friday to send in my cell phone rebate, will I make it?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!

So Embarrassing

I was given the option of having dinner in Adam’s Morgan (trendy neighborhood in D.C.) and after dinner drinks and dancing at one of my favorite African clubs. Just the thought of being out late led me to counter with a movie instead of a big night out on the town. We had dinner at an Ethiopian Restaurant (of course) in Georgetown and decided to check out the new Denzel movie.
Unfortunately the movie was sold out so we elected to wait an hour for the new Morgan Freeman movie and headed to one of the many bars in the area for a drink. We get to the movie and eventually the half bottle of wine I drank at dinner and the Vodka Tonic after dinner drink caught up with me and I fell asleep during the movie. I woke up towards the middle and realized that I had to work to stay awake, the movie sucked.

As we followed the crowd and headed out of the theatre. We chatted about the movie and both agreed that it sucked. Then I was hit with the:

Him: “So I saw you were asleep for half the movie”
Me: “what?!? Well a little how’d you know? Were you looking at me?”
Him: “Well I couldn’t help myself when I heard you snoring”
Me: “oh my god!”

Needless to say I’m embarrassed but I’ll get over it.

Randomness

Yesterday I forgot my lunch and was forced to get lunch from the café in our building. I was impatiently waiting for someone to finish getting food at the salad bar when I turned and looked straight into the café worker’s neck. He has tattoos on his neck. I wonder if they’re prison tats or gang related tats. Who tattoos their neck? I can imagine that shyt hurt, a lot! I’m not sure how I feel about having someone with a prison tat dishing up my lunch grub. Well, I bought my lunch today. Chicken and rice with crème fraiche and shallot sauce. Yummy.

I love, love the food network! Not as much as I love L&O but it’s up there. While I was stuck at home two weekends ago recovering from the whole “wisdom teeth” thing I watched endless hours of Food TV. I think I’m going to sign up for a cooking class soon. I’ve said this before but now I really, really want to go. I made Moules Mariniere and Frites (Mussels and Fries) for the fam on Saturday. It was ok except I got a lil’ too happy with the salt. When I added the chopped parsley at the end I said “Bamm”.

It was time for a cell phone upgrade so I bought the new pink razor. I love it, so cute and I have a lil’ blue tooth accessory thingy to go with it, also in pink. Y’all didn’t know, Pink is the new black. Oh and Hostess it’s a camera phone and has a new improved ring tone. Hehe (giggling in anticipation at the look on the Hostesses’ face when she hears my new ring tone).

I haven’t been able to find anyone to dig up my side gardens yet and I know I have all summer to get it together but I want it done NOW! Everyone keeps telling me to get a day worker but uhh yeah with all this new immigration law talk they may not be around any more. Did you see the movie “A Day without a Mexican”? My parents are immigrants and since this law is aimed at Latino read minority immigrants so I sympathize. Haitians get no love when it comes to immigration matters in this country. Oh unless you’re a star soccer player then they’ll do everything to help you and possibly your family with their immigration status. Power to my people.

I have a team happy hour this afternoon and I think I’m getting an award. I got a weird paycheck stub in the mail this weekend and since we NEVER get our pay check stubs in the mail I think something is up. I think they’re liquoring us up and then hitting us with a team reorganization speech. Not sure how that will affect me but my former admin manager who is traveling called and gave me a heads up and wants to “talk” tomorrow. We shall see. Either way I’m still going back to Armenia in the near future read: next few weeks.

And so it begins...

I spent the last five days hanging out with my dad, stepmother and siblings in North Carolina. I went town to help them celebrate my dad’s 61st birthday and figured I would just take a semi vacation and stayed through the weekend. It was a weekend filled with wake up calls, reality checks and uncertainty.

It’s really hitting me, I’m getting older. My sister and I went to my alma mater’s campus this weekend and everyone was walking around with a cell phone. I started thinking about my college years and realized 1) I graduated from school 10 years ago this May. 2) No one had a cell phone while I was at school and 3) we were barely using the internet back then. I had a school email account but I remember getting a hotmail or yahoo account my sophomore and rarely using it.

I’m glad my sister and I don’t have low self esteem otherwise we’d have serious issues, well issues besides the ones that we already have. I was able to comfortably fit into my little sister’s 7 jeans and the first thing my dad does when I tell him is ask my 17 year old sister if she’s gained weight since I was able to fit into her jeans. Parents you gotta love ‘em.

My dad and stepmother have a huge dilemma on their hands with my little brother. I alluded to a family issue a few months ago but now that my sister is gearing and heading up to college in about a year the issue of my parent’s inability or unwillingness to financially cut my brother off is going to hurt us all in the long run. I understand my step mother has guilt issues and leaving her only son to the financial wolves isn’t high on her list but my brother is working a dead end job, isn’t going to school and although he says he’s going to finish college he has no immediate plans on going back for his degree. The way I see it, the money they’re spending on him could be saved for my sister’s college bid.