I just finished reading Diva (in Demand)’s post where she has one liners about how she really feels about people in her life and started thinking about my own honest assessments of people around me. Despite the moniker, I’m not as Honest as I’d like to think. I hold my tongue a lot because I’m generally non confrontational and nice with people I know. I’ve had a former manager at work describe me as someone who is straightforward, honest, and isn’t afraid to speak her mind. I agree with her assessment to a certain extent but I’m not always straightforward or honest. There are a lot of things I hold back on because I don’t want to be confrontational or hurt someone’s feelings. It’s also because I can be judgmental (90% of which I keep to myself) because as I get older, I realize we don’t all have the same thought process nor do we need to.
A friend of mine just asked me for a personal favor that would have included lending her money until pay day. Except with my family, I have a policy of only lending what I can afford to give away. I felt very awkward telling her I don’t feel comfortable doing that and although I know she’s disappointed she says she understands my decision. I’m not sure why I felt uncomfortable saying no, which is another problem I have. My friend expressed that she would never put me in a bad financial situation and I believe her but in the back of my mind I thought, she succeed in putting herself in a bad situation financially so why can’t she clear up whatever issue it is that’s keeping her from buying something outright or with her own credit card unless its an emergency (this situation wasn’t an emergency). This is where I should have stepped in and told her what I just wrote but I stopped because I didn’t want to sound too judgmental (which I can be when it comes to finances) and if she made the decision to ask me for this favor then she’s probably justified the expense in her mind and nothing I would say would make her budge.
Everywhere around me I have friends and associates who don’t have the same ideas regarding sacrificing to reach an end goal that I do. In fact my mother would say I don’t have the same idea that she does and I consider her the ultimate sacrificer (is that even a word?). During our retreat we had a friend’s husband come in and do a basic financial planning exercise. If we called bad financial planning and decisions a disease I could honestly say a majority of the group is dying from bad decisions. Will anyone make the changes they said they would to get on the right path to their goal? Maybe. I’d like to think I have sound, fool proof financial habits but in reality I don’t. I sat down with a financial planner earlier this year after forking over big bucks and have a clear goal I need to strive for but find myself constantly tripping over my own feet. I’m trying an experiment as of December 1 (not including xmas presents which will have its separate budget) and I’ll see how successful I am.