Monday, September 01, 2008

Guest Blogger - RSVP so I can send an invitation

I haven't blogged since April, so a former blogger asked if she could post something that's been on her mind.

It goes a little something like this:

A friend of mine is getting married later this month. We were once fairly close; now, not so much. Distance and life have gotten in the way. She moved away and went back to school, I climbed the corporate ladder... you know, life just took us in different directions. My most recent move put us both in the same area just in time for her engagement and wedding. She called soon after the engagement to let me know and made sure I was invited (via evite) to the engagement party **WTH happened to proper invitations for formal events? An engagement party does count as a formal event, right? Is it just me?**

For the last few days, she's been blowing my phone up. I went through all the possible reasons for the multiple, back-to-back calls. Hmmm, did she have a bridesmaid drop out and she needs a replacement? Was she having a program folding party? Selling Mary Kay? Looking for a last-minute caterer? Hell, I don't know, let me just call her back...

She "invited" me to her wedding. Well not really. She actually asked me if I was free the day of her wedding. When I told her I had already made plans but would love to come she suggested I call her back once I confirmed I could make it and she would follow up by sending me an invitation. Huh? I figured I must have misunderstood so I text messaged her my mailing address and a note to congratulate her on the upcoming nuptials. I didn't misunderstand. She replied with a request for my availability so she can send me an invitation IF I can make it.

Is this the wave of the future? Only invite people once they've already confirmed they can come? I know the economy is bad but it's certainly not this bad, is it? I didn't think wedding invitations were that expensive, not even the really nice ones. So why is she treating this like a big budget item? Why is she requesting confirmation before she'll even formally invite me? Ugh, I can't even be bothered. Here's my deal, I'm not responding to your text invite. If you don't send me a paper invitation, you won't see my face at the wedding or my gift in your hot little hand. If I get a paper invite, I will try to make it and will provide a gift. Just let me know what you're gonna do.

~Crystal~

8 comments:

Jdid said...

definetly agree that i wouldnt go either. either you invite the person or you dont invite them no conditional invite

TNDRHRT said...

I don't think an evite to the engagement party was too out of line. I've received engagement party invites that way and never thought twice about it. It didn't reflect negatively on the couple, in my opinion. However, I do agree with the guest blogger that I wouldn't respond to her friend's text asking me to confirm if I will attend her wedding and in turn I'll receive an invitation. Huh? Naw playa. Two fingers and congratulations. That's all I can do.

GeckoGirl said...

Sounds like she wasn't planning to invite you but since you've recently reconnected, she felt semi-obligated and/or another guest declined. The invitations have probably already been delivered and mailed out and she doesn't want to 'waste' an extra if you're not going to come.

That said, it's up to you if you go but I wouldn't go unless I got an paper invitation.

Hubby and I recently got an e-mail invite to a wedding ceremony (but not the reception) which we promptly declined.

Quel said...

Just dropping by to say hi. Long time. Hope all is well where you are.

The Lady Girl said...

I agree with Gecko

Luke Cage said...

Hiya Honest and the guest blogger. Well, I don't really see the problem with it, but that's me. It could be slapping me in the face and I just don't notice it.

I say, since you made plans, stick to them. But I do believe the term, "what do you want, an engraved invitation" probably was born from something like this.

Personally, I wouldn't care if she was asking me if I were available first. There could be some other stuff we are not aware of behind the scenes. You never know...

Beloved said...

I miss your blog! :(

Anonymous said...

I agree 110%. To say "I am only sending you a paper invitation if you confirm you can come".. WTH! First of all, what is even the point? If you are so tacky that I get asked to your wedding via text/phone call and I say "yes".. hell, just give me the time and location right then and there. Second, I don't want to be a part of such nonsense. I wouldn't respond or plan to attend without a paper invitation.

If finances are a problem, buy less expensive invitations, cut back on flowers, spend one less day on your honeymoon...